May 18th, 2007 by POMP

I’m so bored, I wanna rape some nappy-headed ho’s up in here. But black people scare me, so I guess I’ll just pass the time with V-TECH RAMPAGE instead.

Oh, and I don’t want to be suspended by the Internets or sued by Jack Thompson, so here’s the disclaimer:

WARNING: V-Tech Rampage is intended for Mature Audiences. It contains Extreme Violence, Extreme Explicit Audio, Extreme Explicit Text, and Extreme Adult Themes.

Calm down, relax, and enjoy … It’s just a fucking game.

April 29th, 2007 by POMP

To follow-up yesterdays anti-Microsoft tirade, today I traded in my dusty, old unmodded Xbox for an Xbox 360 Elite. This is teh 1337 new Xbox 360 that features the “massive” 120GB Hard Drive, HDMI port, and “premium black finish.” Yes, black is premium now. And here I thought it meant impure and unclean. My bad.

I bought the Elite mainly to be a Windows Media Extendor, and for its HD DVD playback. So I purchased the HD DVD Player. And since it’s being billed as the “ultimate in gaming,” I figured I better pickup a few games. So I grabbed Burnout Revenge, F.E.A.R., Gears of War, and Need for Speed: Most Wanted. I also bought an additional Wireless Controller with two Play & Charge Kits.

I may have gone a little overboard, but at least I’m not one of the suckers bidding $800 or $900 for this thing on eBay. I had a pre-order through Circuit City, but I canceled it when I heard GameStop was taking old Xboxes as trade-ins. And let me tell ya, they had plenty in stock. It almost makes me feel bad for the idiots that were buying peoples pre-orders on eBay. But it doesn’t.

Anyway, I may not be a leet gamer, but my console is … so I want to test this fucker out. I lost my old Xbox LIVE Gamertag, but if you have any of the above mentioned games, look me up. My new Gamertag is: bOWb.

April 17th, 2007 by POMP

Thank you Cho Seung-Hui of Virginia. Finally, the hippies in Colorado can shut the fuck up. How’s it feel to be number two shit-heads?

The media is trying to blame this latest school shooting on violent video games, but they reported the gunman was dressed like a Boy Scout.

Now how’s this for an incoherent thought?

The Boy Scouts of America is a religious organization who prohibits atheists, agnostics, and homo’s from joining. So maybe it’s God we should blame? The only thing the BSA and I seem to agree on is the exclusion of women from leadership positions.

I read Stephen King’s “Rage” right around the time Jack Thompson started suing people for having fun. It was years later that I first played Grand Theft Auto, and my character was dressed like a Pimp. Maybe we should go after creepy looking authors? Then again, the Virginia Tech shooter was South Korean, so maybe racism is the real culprit, and maybe we should fire more elderly shock jocks instead?

Or maybe it’s time we start going after anyone who speaks freely, and dares to use adjectives? After all, the gunman was described as a “sullen loner.” How come people always seem to recognize these personality traits after something horrible happens, but never before?

I dunno, I guess what I’m trying to say is: When is T-Shirt Hell going to update their School Shootings Tour shirt? And when are the creators of Columbine Paintball gonna allow us to re-live the Virginia Tech experience for ourselves?