April 29th, 2007 by POMP

To follow-up yesterdays anti-Microsoft tirade, today I traded in my dusty, old unmodded Xbox for an Xbox 360 Elite. This is teh 1337 new Xbox 360 that features the “massive” 120GB Hard Drive, HDMI port, and “premium black finish.” Yes, black is premium now. And here I thought it meant impure and unclean. My bad.

I bought the Elite mainly to be a Windows Media Extendor, and for its HD DVD playback. So I purchased the HD DVD Player. And since it’s being billed as the “ultimate in gaming,” I figured I better pickup a few games. So I grabbed Burnout Revenge, F.E.A.R., Gears of War, and Need for Speed: Most Wanted. I also bought an additional Wireless Controller with two Play & Charge Kits.

I may have gone a little overboard, but at least I’m not one of the suckers bidding $800 or $900 for this thing on eBay. I had a pre-order through Circuit City, but I canceled it when I heard GameStop was taking old Xboxes as trade-ins. And let me tell ya, they had plenty in stock. It almost makes me feel bad for the idiots that were buying peoples pre-orders on eBay. But it doesn’t.

Anyway, I may not be a leet gamer, but my console is … so I want to test this fucker out. I lost my old Xbox LIVE Gamertag, but if you have any of the above mentioned games, look me up. My new Gamertag is: bOWb.

April 27th, 2007 by POMP

People love to bash Microsoft, but when it comes down to it, Windows is what we all use. Why? Because it just works. It’s stable, secure, and runs on practically any hardware. If Linux was so great, more people (other than the troll living in my basement) would use it.

It’s true (for now) that Lunix and OS-eX are less susceptible to viruses and spyware. But that’s because nobody cares about these Operating Systems.

Linux and OS X are not secure … they’re obscure.

Microsoft has already sold more copies of Windows Vista, than there are Mac and Linux users – combined. And some really smart guy says that Vista’s code is more secure than Mac’s.

But don’t get me wrong, Apple products are great if you like overpaying for hardware that has pictures of fruit all over it. But hey, if you want to waste money on a computer that doesn’t even right-click, be my guest. At least you can run Windows Vista on it. I mean you need something to play video games on, and Vista’s built for games; how about OS X?

Vista will even run faster on a Macbook Pro than OS X.

People love to tout Macs as being superior multimedia machines, yet Adobe Audition is only available for Windows, and benchmarks have proven that Windows runs Adobe Photoshop faster.

But don’t take my links for it, look it up for yourselves bitches.

Anyway, why use a piece of … fruity hardware that you can’t even game on (let alone right-click), or a shotty open-sores Windows clone like the Linus OS, when you can pay just a few bucks for the real deal?

Besides, if you use Windows Vista your ePenis will grow tenfold.

April 26th, 2007 by POMP

Jack Valenti, the former president of the MPAA, a lobbiest for the DMCA, and a proponent of DRM died today at the age of 85.

Rest In Piss douche bag … you will not be missed.

If you don’t fully understand the negative impact this asshole had on society, you need to watch This Film Is Not Yet Rated.

“If you want to have a backup of a movie you should go out and purchase another copy of that movie.” “The VCR is akin to the Boston Strangler.” – Jack Valenti

April 19th, 2007 by POMP

I would like to take this time to say that anyone that utters the phrase “heh, heh, it’s 4/20″ (or something like it) today, is a complete idiot AND loser. Let me take a minute to ponder the details of your pathetic teenage existence. I apologize in advance for the lack of misspellings, and cool IM acronyms.

1. You just couldn’t take it anymore, so you quit school. (But I bet you’re gonna get your GED someday!)
2. Your parent(s) suck, but you still live at home or with a friend. (But I bet you’re moving as soon as you turn 18, err … 40.)
3. You just can’t seem to find a job, or you refuse to work for minimum wage–because you’re better than that! (Meanwhile, you either never look or apply at the same places, that you know will never hire your sorry ass.)

If this sounds like you or some dumb-fuck you know, then you’re probably a dropout loser, that can’t find a decent job because you’re too busy smoking to ever look. Do me a personal favor, and trade an ounce for a nine, and rid yourself, your friends, and your family of this horrible world that owes you so much, despite the very little you contribute.

Just think of the cool suicide anniversary date.

April 17th, 2007 by POMP

Thank you Cho Seung-Hui of Virginia. Finally, the hippies in Colorado can shut the fuck up. How’s it feel to be number two shit-heads?

The media is trying to blame this latest school shooting on violent video games, but they reported the gunman was dressed like a Boy Scout.

Now how’s this for an incoherent thought?

The Boy Scouts of America is a religious organization who prohibits atheists, agnostics, and homo’s from joining. So maybe it’s God we should blame? The only thing the BSA and I seem to agree on is the exclusion of women from leadership positions.

I read Stephen King’s “Rage” right around the time Jack Thompson started suing people for having fun. It was years later that I first played Grand Theft Auto, and my character was dressed like a Pimp. Maybe we should go after creepy looking authors? Then again, the Virginia Tech shooter was South Korean, so maybe racism is the real culprit, and maybe we should fire more elderly shock jocks instead?

Or maybe it’s time we start going after anyone who speaks freely, and dares to use adjectives? After all, the gunman was described as a “sullen loner.” How come people always seem to recognize these personality traits after something horrible happens, but never before?

I dunno, I guess what I’m trying to say is: When is T-Shirt Hell going to update their School Shootings Tour shirt? And when are the creators of Columbine Paintball gonna allow us to re-live the Virginia Tech experience for ourselves?

April 10th, 2007 by POMP

I’ve had my pussy for nearly 14 years, and I’ve just learned something new: My pussy is afraid of Parmesan Cheese.

He likes cheese and he likes milk. But whether you shake the canister at him or just sprinkle some on the floor — He cowers, he chatters, and runs up the stairs.

What a pussy.

April 1st, 2007 by POMP

MySpace is not a place for friends. Unless you’re a spammer or a pedophile, you don’t belong there anymore. Check out Virb.com, it’s basically a MySpace clone, but it’s MySpace done right. You may not see it until you sign up and begin customizing your profile, but once you play around with features like the Flickr Photo Feed, Module Nicknames, Multiple Taglines, Remove Customization Button, and VirbTunes … you’ll want to delete Tom from your friends list too.

This message has been brought to you by:
http://virb.com/pomp

Will you be my friend?