Mama needs a new grill

Fix My GrillHate the Radio’s biggest whore needs your help. After a nasty spill on her bike, Mel busted up her face and her teeth are falling out. To make matters worse, this poor girl has endured the wrath of Uncle Norme for more than a decade. So if you’ve got a minute, help her win a fully paid trip to the dentist by kicking a vote her way. She’s contestant number 68.

This is her sob story:


“Z 100 (Local FM radio station) is having a contest called FIX MY GRILL. How cool is this…Sitting around waiting for health insurance has been Hell.. I have 2 teeth falling out and 2 more that are very badly damaged from a bike wreck that I had in November. What’s the chance that I could win this contest? What’s the chance that soon I will be able to smile again with a full set. I think that I have a fighting chance. So here’s what I am asking everyone… CLICK HERE TO VOTE The more votes I get, the better my chances are. So, vote for me and all your wildest dreams will come true.”

Your contribution will not be easily forgotten.

Dear Natalie

Drinking alone sucks. But being sick for over a month sucks even more, so fuck it. Natalie Portman looks like a nice little Jewish girl … I’d like to eat her asshole raw, then bite the tips off her pointy little Hobbit ears.

I jerked off to Garden State once, but my pussy hurt after I saw The Notebook. I’m not kidding, it nearly bled for five days. Natalie Portman wasn’t in that movie, but the chick that’s in it is indeed hot. I’d lick her ass too and cum on her dirty place.

Listen to this song, then play it backawards and shoot yourself.