January 21st, 2006 by POMP

I saw the unrated edition of The 40-Year-Old Virgin last night and I think the moral of the story is: If you want to get the pussy, you have to give up the Lunix.

You see kids, Lunix is a gateway OS. If you start using, then soon you’ll be playing Dungeons & Dragons and drinking Mountain Dew, while discussing firewalls and gigabytes into the wee hours of the morning.

Grep, Tar, Bash, Pine, blah. It sounds bad, because it is…

So put away your Magic: The Gathering cards, stop watching those Sith-tastic movies, and go outside. I guarantee that within a month your face will clear up, and the money you save (by not buying comic books and toy action figures) is money that can be well spent on drugs and hookers.

If you heed my advice you won’t be a 40-Year-Old Virgin, pissing on your own face whenever you try to take a shit. You’ll be able to boldly go where no Linus nerd has gone before, and use that piss-boner of yours on an actual female!

Enjoy!!