I’d like to wish a Happy belated Birthday to our very own RaYzor, who turned 42 on Friday. I swear with his combover and bandana combo, he doesn’t look a day over 40. I’d also like to wish a Happy 39th Birthday to one of the greatest Jews to ever roam the Earth, Mr. Adam Horovitz aka Ad-Rock of the Beastie Boys.

And even though when ObSerVer asked his girlfriend to sympathy fuck me, she said “absolutely not,” I’d like to wish her a Happy 27th Birthday anyway. A simple no would have sufficed, but apparently a 5-Cell Mag-Lite is more desirable than I am…