How many 12 ounce cans of soda would it take to kill you? To find out, just click this link, pick your poison, and enter your weight.
According to the site, it would take more than 250 cans of Coca-Cola Classic to kill me, or just one line of poisoned coke from a filthy Muslim. I’m sure a shotgun blast to the head would do the trick too, but these days I prefer the Death by Budweiser method.
However, given the fact that there’s only about 50 milligrams of caffeine in a can of Coke, and 200 milligrams in a Vivarin, and I used to take one to two sheets a day (8-16 pills), I must conclude that I’m invincible. Of course, I failed tenth grade math five times, and here’s why…
I was such a Vivarin addict back in my high school days that I would steal boxes of them from Fay’s Drugs, and then in order to not get caught with them in class, I would suck on them like candy or for a quick buzz I would chew the fuckers. Then I’d bounce off the walls all day long and rather than do my school work, I would write insane ramblings similar to my earlier work on POMP PRODUCTIONS – except these rhymed.
Keep in mind that these Vivarin’s were not chewable either. If I had to describe their taste, it would be dehydrated puke. Just add saliva, and you have a delicious treat with a lingering aftertaste that lasts all day!
