Howard Stern is another great candidate for my new reality show, “Kick’em in the Cunt.” And it got me thinking of a prank call someone should make to him.

Since I no longer listen to his pathetic show, I thought I’d put this idea out there for anyone that thinks they could actually get through. Because Howard’s lazy and no longer funny, I hear he mostly takes calls from his Wack Pack, and dumps out on any callers that challenge him – so this may be difficult. But I picture the call going something like this:

Howard: “Hello, you’re on-the-air.“

Caller: “Hey Howard, is it true you have the AIDS?“

Howard: “No, what the hell are you talking about?“

Caller: “I heard you caught ‘The Virus’ from Opie and Anthony on XM Satellite Radio.“

At this point Howard should promptly dump out of your call and then start belittling you with unfunny insults like “you’re stupid” and “you’re a homo.” There’s no reason to be scared though, because Howard lost his edge years ago, and can only offend you if you’re still in elementary school or have an IQ below 80.

I can practically guarantee you 15 minutes of fame just as soon as Opie and Anthony get wind of this call. The verbal cunt-kicking you gave Howard will make you a hero on their radio show, and they will most likely play your phony phone call a minimum of ten times a day.

Good Luck!

I had a great idea for a reality show the other day. I’m tentatively calling, “Kick’em in the Cunt.” This show would feature me and special guest-kickers, kicking celebrities in the cunt.

On my premiere episode I would like to kick Paris Hilton square in the cunt, then move on to bigger and worse celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Janeane Garofalo, Sean Penn, Michael Moore, Madonna, Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, The Osbournes, and the entire cast of The View.

That should just about do it for the first season, and since the list of Hollywood phonies seriously in need of a good cunt-kicking is practically endless, I think this show could go on forever.