I had a great idea for a reality show the other day. I’m tentatively calling, “Kick’em in the Cunt.” This show would feature me and special guest-kickers, kicking celebrities in the cunt.

On my premiere episode I would like to kick Paris Hilton square in the cunt, then move on to bigger and worse celebrities such as Michael Jackson, Oprah Winfrey, Tom Cruise, Janeane Garofalo, Sean Penn, Michael Moore, Madonna, Britney Spears, Ashlee Simpson, The Osbournes, and the entire cast of The View.

That should just about do it for the first season, and since the list of Hollywood phonies seriously in need of a good cunt-kicking is practically endless, I think this show could go on forever.