U.S. Kids Don’t Understand First Amendment

January 31st, 2005 by POMP

Lil JonWOW. I knew any generation that would make Lil Jon a celebrity had to be Satan incarnate. But I’m fucking flabbergasted. They say that children are the future leaders of the world. Well I say we’re all doomed once ‘Generation Stupid’ takes over. So check out this blockquote from Slashdot and FUCK THE KIDS!


“This rather alarming article discusses a study of high-school students in which they were asked about censorship, protected speech, and other aspects of the first amendment. The results are extremely worrisome: “Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories.” and this “Three in four students said flag burning is illegal. It’s not. About half the students said the government can restrict any indecent material on the Internet. It can’t.”..”

On an ignorance side note, go here and download Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz – What U Gon’ Do feat. Lil Scrappy (just submit bogus info) and make sure you read “the lyrics” here. I had the misfortune of seeing the video on TV, so it’s only fair that you should have the same painful experience.

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Dirty Confessions

January 30th, 2005 by POMP

I have a brand new feature I’m unveiling tonight, tentatively called … Dirty Confessions. This is not going to be run of the mill confessions–like the fact that I saw 8 Mile in the theater and still bought the DVD, or that I own the Rico Suave single. Oh no, this is gonna be the real fucking deal. The kind of embarrassing shit that you should never tell anyone, let alone a bunch of strangers on the Internet.

So to kick things off the right way, I’m gonna start with a confession that still makes me cringe, even though it happened about ten years ago…

You see, when I was around 18 I got a urinary tract infection. This caused a dull ache similar to that of blue balls and (much to my surprise) made me piss blood. I don’t mean a little blood either, I mean a horrific stream of pure red piss. A stream so bloody red it changed the color of the toilet water.

Urinary tract infections are very rare in males, so it’s quite ironic that this happened to me, given the fact that I get queasy at the sight of my own blood, oftentimes to the point that I have to sit down until the dizzy spell and cold sweats go away.

So if you’re like me and you cringe at the thought of getting kicked in the nuts, or the mention of John Wayne Bobbitt’s dick getting chopped off, just imagine a pint of blood spewing out of your peehole. I just had to walk away from the keyboard because thinking about it still makes me nauseous.

I’ve never been one for going to the doctors either, so after a few days of this male menstruation, you can probably imagine my dismay every time I had to piss. So rather than close my eyes, or risk passing out and smashing my head off the toilet, I chose to pee sitting down.

After about a week of peeing like a girl, I was forced to go to the hospital. The doctor prescribed Penicillin for my penis problem, but nothing for the severe mental anguish it caused. The blood eventually faded from my piss stream, just as I was getting used to not aiming for the bowl anymore. Dammit.

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The Immigrant Check

January 28th, 2005 by POMP

FUCK The Beastles, this Beastie Boys vs. Led Zeppelin mash-up by San Francisco bootlegger Nemozob is da dope fresh shiznit.

If you’re a fan of the old-school Licensed To Ill era Beastie Boys, you should especially enjoy this track.

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Avery Fantom – Sex Poetry

January 28th, 2005 by POMP

Avery Fantom - Sex PoetryOn October 12, 2004 I posted the following:

“About five months ago, I banged out a cheesy website for my HTML class. It was designed strictly to meet my instructors requirements. It features Images, Info, Links, and MP3’s of my friend Avery’s second CD. A few days ago he asked me to post it, so I made a few quick adjustments and here it is.”

Well it’s 3 1/2 months later and now Avery’s site also features an Audblog, Merch, and MP3’s from both of his albums, as well as a brand new domain name: AFantom.com

If you want to hear some Scriba-influenced, angry experimental abstract beats–listen to the Self-Destructive Habits EP. This is an eight-track electronic masterpiece, co-produced by A. Fantom and yours truly at Wasted Talent Entertainment Studios in New York.

The two best tracks from S.D.H. are “Defective Symptoms” and “Relaxed Psycho.” They’re more mellow (less drunken) Trip-Hop tracks, and can also be found on the Sex Poetry LP. It’s definitely the better of the two albums. Check it out.

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The Cisum worm

January 27th, 2005 by POMP

This new worm is fucking hilarious. If anyone gets infected by it, I would love to know about it.

There’s a new network worm out that’s designed to lower your self esteem. The Cisum worm will display the text ‘YOU ARE AN IDIOT’ while playing an MP3 that sings the same thing every five seconds or so. Meanwhile it’s shutting down your firewall and anti-virus and spreading itself to other computers on your LAN.

Want to protect yourself from bullshit like this, so you can laugh at these retards too? It’s simple run Windows Update, and install firewall and anti-virus software. Then, update everything regularly and don’t open email attachments.

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FREE Movielink Download

January 26th, 2005 by POMP

Movielink

OK, this is pretty cool. Use this link to get yourself one free movie download from Movielink. You will be emailed a “Movielink Money code” that is valid until 11:59 p.m. PT on 8-31-05. And your movie download is good for up to 30 days.

It looks like a lot of their New Releases don’t accept “Movielink Money,” but if you hit that link from a different IP address and use a different Gmail account you can get even more free movie downloads.

I have three so far…

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Viewer Mail

January 25th, 2005 by POMP

Here’s a correction to my Dog Sodomizer post:

I just want to let you know this part is wrong Veterinarians discovered Jeffrey’s dog Kacey **** this is not his dog but a dog that lived down the street from him.
This happened in my town and I live about five mins from this sicko.
I’m so glad people are getting this out on the net and I hope more people will write a letter to my home town news paper so maybe the damn judge Walter Morris won’t let this twister sicko off with just a slap on his hands….which is he good for doing….so please post this web addy and ask people to send letters in www.caledoniarecord.com this is how the Jeffery Darmers of the world started.
Thank you.
Tori

I told you I wasn’t making that shit up…

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