January 31st, 2005 by POMP

WOW. I knew any generation that would make Lil Jon a celebrity had to be Satan incarnate. But I’m fucking flabbergasted. They say that children are the future leaders of the world. Well I say we’re all doomed once ‘Generation Stupid’ takes over. So check out this blockquote from Slashdot and FUCK THE KIDS!

“This rather alarming article discusses a study of high-school students in which they were asked about censorship, protected speech, and other aspects of the first amendment. The results are extremely worrisome: “Only half of the students said newspapers should be allowed to publish freely without government approval of stories.” and this “Three in four students said flag burning is illegal. It’s not. About half the students said the government can restrict any indecent material on the Internet. It can’t.”..”

On an ignorance side note, go here and download Lil Jon & The East Side Boyz – What U Gon’ Do feat. Lil Scrappy (just submit bogus info) and make sure you read “the lyrics” here. I had the misfortune of seeing the video on TV, so it’s only fair that you should have the same painful experience.

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January 30th, 2005 by POMP

I have a brand new feature I’m unveiling tonight, tentatively called … Dirty Confessions. This is not going to be run of the mill confessions–like the fact that I saw 8 Mile in the theater and still bought the DVD, or that I own the Rico Suave single. Oh no, this is gonna be the real fucking deal. The kind of embarrassing shit that you should never tell anyone, let alone a bunch of strangers on the Internet.

So to kick things off the right way, I’m gonna start with a confession that still makes me cringe, even though it happened about ten years ago…

You see, when I was around 18 I got a urinary tract infection. This caused a dull ache similar to that of blue balls and (much to my surprise) made me piss blood. I don’t mean a little blood either, I mean a horrific stream of pure red piss. A stream so bloody red it changed the color of the toilet water.

Urinary tract infections are very rare in males, so it’s quite ironic that this happened to me, given the fact that I get queasy at the sight of my own blood, oftentimes to the point that I have to sit down until the dizzy spell and cold sweats go away.

So if you’re like me and you cringe at the thought of getting kicked in the nuts, or the mention of John Wayne Bobbitt’s dick getting chopped off, just imagine a pint of blood spewing out of your peehole. I just had to walk away from the keyboard because thinking about it still makes me nauseous.

I’ve never been one for going to the doctors either, so after a few days of this male menstruation, you can probably imagine my dismay every time I had to piss. So rather than close my eyes, or risk passing out and smashing my head off the toilet, I chose to pee sitting down.

After about a week of peeing like a girl, I was forced to go to the hospital. The doctor prescribed Penicillin for my penis problem, but nothing for the severe mental anguish it caused. The blood eventually faded from my piss stream, just as I was getting used to not aiming for the bowl anymore. Dammit.

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January 28th, 2005 by POMP

FUCK The Beastles, this Beastie Boys vs. Led Zeppelin mash-up by San Francisco bootlegger Nemozob is da dope fresh shiznit.

If you’re a fan of the old-school Licensed To Ill era Beastie Boys, you should especially enjoy this track.

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